


Happy Pi Day

by newdog14



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Cecil Is a Good Boyfriend, Cecil is a Dork, Fluff, Happy Pi Day, M/M, baking disasters, cecilos - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 22:28:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3546047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newdog14/pseuds/newdog14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecil finds out that it's Super Pi Day and wants to surprise Carlos by baking some homemade pies. It doesn't go very well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Pi Day

“Good morning Cecil,” Carlos said cheerily, Cecil groaned in response. He’d never been a morning person, and generally preferred to sleep until well beyond times that were considered morning. However since moving in with Carlos Cecil had found it increasingly difficult to sleep without Carlos in the bed, and Carlos was most definitely a morning person.

Of course this new arrangement wasn’t all bad, as Carlos was more than happy to make coffee and breakfast, and that made mornings slightly more tolerable in Cecil’s book. Today’s breakfast was a bit fancier than usual, as there were pancakes with a weird symbol baked into them, “What’s that?” Cecil asked as Carlos handed him a plate.

“Oh! That’s the algebraic symbol for pi,” Carlos said.

“Like the food?” Cecil wasn’t sure what role pies could possibly play in math, but he didn’t know all that much about math or pies.

Carlos just laughed at him, “No silly, the number, 3.1415926-“

“How long can one number be?” Cecil groaned again, it was far too early for a math lesson. Early morning science he could handle, but math was just not worth the attention.

“Actually it goes on to infinity,” Carlos said, “That’s why it’s represented with a symbol.”

“Oh,” Cecil said, “Why is it on our pancakes?”

“It’s Pi Day!” Carlos said, “In fact it’s Super Pi Day, today’s date is 3-14-15, same as the first several digits of Pi. A date like that won’t come around again for another century, so I thought we should take extra care to celebrate this one.”

“Oh,” Cecil said. He could never get as excited about numbers as Carlos did, but it was great to see Carlos get so animated about them.

“I have to be to work soon,” Carlos said, “But I’ll be home sometime this afternoon.” Carlos gave him a quick kiss goodbye, or at least it was intended to be quick, Cecil wouldn’t let him go until he was given a proper goodbye kiss.

Cecil felt much better after he’d eaten breakfast, and decided that he wanted to surprise Carlos with some homemade pies to celebrate Super Pie Day. Even if it _was_ a celebration of math.

The entire plan was perfect except for two small problems. The first problem was a lack of pie recipes, but a quick call to Earl would fix that. The second problem was less easily remedied, and not something Cecil had really considered in the making of his plan. Cecil was a _terrible_ cook, he was in fact so terrible that he had buried almost all his previous attempts at cooking deep within his subconscious, and had limited himself to using microwaves and toasters only for the last several years of his life.

However none of this crossed Cecil’s mind as he dialed Earl’s number, his only thought was how excited Carlos would be when he got home.

“Cecil?” Earl sounded groggy and confused, and it occurred to Cecil that his friend wasn’t much of a morning person either, but he doubted that would affect his to give a recipe. After all, a restaurant as phenomenal as Tourniquet wouldn’t hire a Sous Chef who couldn’t give out recipes half asleep.

“I’m so glad you’re awake!” Cecil said, “I was wondering if you could give me some quick pie recipes? According to Carlos it’s Super Pie Day and I wanted to surprise him.”

“Cecil it’s not Super Pie Day,” Earl said, “I’m a chef, I know when food is celebrated.”

“Oh no not the food, the number,” Cecil said, “I just thought it’s be a fun pun to make actual puns. So do you have any good recipes?”

“Uhh yeah,” Earl said, “I’ll look ‘em up in a sec, I’ll text ‘em to you okay?”

“Okay!” Cecil said, “Thanks a bunch!”

Cecil waited patiently for Earl to text him back, and was very happy when his phone made the familiar otherworldly screeching that meant he’d received a text.

_Coconut pie:_

_1 cup of sugar_

_2 TBSP flour_

_½ stick of melted butter_

_1 cup milk_

_1 TSP fresh vanilla extract_

_6 oz coconut_

_Mix together blend well, pour into 9 inch pie pan—glass, NOT GOLD. Bake at 350 degrees for 45-50 minutes or until nice and brown and custard is set._

_One Step Custard Pie:_

_½ cup Bisquick_

_½ stick of softened butter_

_4 eggs_

_½ cup sugar_

_2 cups milk_

_1 TSP fresh vanilla extract_

_Blend ingredients in order with blender. DEVIATION FROM LISTED ORDER WILL HAVE FATAL CONSEQUENCES CECIL. FATAL. After all is mixed well, pour into buttered pie pan. Bake at 400 degrees for 25 minutes._

_Try not to get yourself killed over this Cecil, okay?_

Earl was always so dramatic when it came to cooking, Cecil was certain that was why the cooking segment was so popular with the listeners. Cecil sent him a text of thanks, then went to the store.

Cecil glared at the Vanilla, in his attempts to harvest the extract the thing had torn his tunic to pieces. Cecil hated harvesting vanilla extract, it always ended with his clothes being ruined. But it was all worth it to make Carlos happy.

Once he was back home Cecil began mixing up the ingredients for the coconut pie. It wasn’t too difficult, and soon enough he’d gotten the concoction into the oven. Cecil was feeling very pleased with himself until the timer went off and he realized that getting the pie _out_ of the oven was going to be significantly more difficult than getting it _in_ was.

The custard hadn’t settled at all, so the slightest jolt risked spilling the piping hot liquid everywhere, and if he didn’t pick up the pan at just the right angle he’d burn his hands on the oven. After a good five minutes of maneuvering he managed to pull it out, but it still didn’t look very good. The edges looked burned and the top looked uneven. Altogether it was a very unappetizing pie.

Cecil took a picture and sent it to Earl.

_Is it supposed to look like this?_

_Cecil what did you DO? I gave very specific instructions!_

_And I followed them exactly!_

Earl didn’t respond for a few minutes, and then he called.

“Cecil, did you coat the pan with Pam before you poured the pie in?” He phrased it as a question, but his tone implied that he already knew the answer.

“I’m not sure what Pam is Earl,” Cecil said, “But I know you didn’t list its use in your instructions, so I cannot be blamed for its absence.”

“Cecil Pam is a cooking spray that you put on pans to keep things from sticking to them,” Earl said, “And it is so widely used that it isn’t something that’s put in a recipe! It’s just common sense!”

“Earl I don’t cook very often, I don’t see how you expect me to know these things,” Cecil said.

“I expect you to know it because it is as obvious as using oven mitts to remove pans from an oven!” Earl said, “And if using Pam _isn’t_ obvious to you, then you _obviously_ don’t belong in a kitchen!”

“I’m sorry!” Cecil whined, “I promise that from now on I’ll use Pam when I bake.”

“Good,” Earl said, seemingly satisfied, “Do you need me to stay on the line and talk you through the second recipe?”

“Oh come on, this one is even easier than the first,” Cecil said, “I’m quite certain I can handle it.”

“Well when it goes wrong let me know,” Earl said, “And I’ll try to walk you through fixing it.”

Then he hung up, leaving Cecil to glare at his phone and mutter about a condescending jerk.

Cecil had just gotten all the ingredients into the blender cup when he realized that he needed to sync up the blades at the bottom with the mechanics of the base. Cecil had never used a blender before, but he figured it would be as simple as twisting the glass cup until it all matched up. Unfortunately for Cecil, this resulted in the cup detaching from the blades and caused the liquid pie to leak out. Cecil cursed and struggled to reattach the cup to the blades, and succeeded only in completely removing the cup and having the mixture splash out all over the counter.

It was as Cecil was letting lose a string of very descriptive curses that Carlos returned home, stepping into the kitchen with a look of abject horror on his face.

“Cecil what on earth happened in hear?” Carlos asked, he wasn’t angry but he was certainly shocked.

“…Happy Pie Day?” Cecil said, gesturing to the ruined coconut pie on the table.

    

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> The recipes are both real, though I tried to add a little Night Vale flair. Feel free to try them out, so long as you execute them more professionally than Cecil did you should be fine.


End file.
